August 26, 2004
Eek
Does this scare anyone else besides me?
Posted by josh at 01:49 AM | Comments (3)
August 25, 2004
Stinky
Holy crap... I knew that I was asking for trouble when I went to Sunflower and bought two brownies. They're SOOOO delicious. I mean, they're better than regular brownies. Seriously, I'm not kidding. And they have tons of protein, good fat, and fiber. Unfortunately, they come with my arch enemy, maltitol, which has a nasty side-effect (scroll down to 4th paragraph). Luckily, I spaced out eating them by a few hours. But man, I'm paying for it now. I don't have it as bad as some, though... I only get gas-y and bloated. No runs for me. But man, stinky stinky stinky. :)
I'm sure you all wanted to know that.
Suddenly I'm too tired to write anymore. I was gonna write about school, etc. Tomorrow.
Oooh, Tom and his boyfriend are coming by tomorrow. (not really his boyfriend---that I know of---I just like poking fun at Tom) We're gonna go to the Ichetucknee on Saturday. Anyone else want to join us?
Posted by josh at 11:53 PM | Comments (6)
August 23, 2004
Love
I am nothing special; of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts, and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough."
- from "The Notebook" by Nicholas Sparks
Posted by josh at 11:15 PM | Comments (7)
August 20, 2004
Busch Gardens
I'm heading to St. Pete to visit Julie and to go to Busch Gardens tomorrow. We all got Fun Passes to use, Corey included, but then they had to go and be all Boyfriend/Girlfriend.... we've yet to go. So we're going tomorrow. Also gonna go to Buca di Beppo for dinner tomorrow (best place ever) and also try to go to a really good Italian Market in St. Pete. It's super awesome.
Anyway, I'm gonna be gone all weekend, so don't expect any posts. My laptop is still being repaired by Dell, so I won't have my computer while I'm there. :( Maybe I'll use Julie's.
Posted by josh at 05:33 PM | Comments (1)
August 18, 2004
Weeee!! Classes!!
I can't wait for classes to start. I registered today for my full load (heheh, full load) of 9 hours (the load required to get my football tickets... 2 weeks left... woot!!!). 3 classes.... Materials Structures, Thermodynamics, and Fundamentals of Rheology... shouldn't be too bad, considering the first two will be just more in depth versions of classes I've already had. I've had some exposure to Rheology, so I should be ok in there too. Hopefully I'll have enough time to get a part time job or something. Maybe I'll just forego that whole thing and just get a student loan and pay it off when I get a job that pays more than 7 bucks an hour. That would be a much better investment of my time. Maybe then I would have time to do things such as not post on my blog, not pay my credit card bills, not go to the gym, or not do anything that's productive. Or, I could actually end up playing tennis more often, running more often, or goign to the gym more often.
That reminds me, if anyone out there is: 1) willing to pay money to go to a GOOD gym (and by that I mean one that doesn't close completely during perfect times to go to the gym, like during break week and also one that has a hot tub and pool on premises) 2) at least twice as motivated as Yin (Yin is a pansy and is completely amotivited) 3) willing to do whatever I say in the gym 'cause I know exactly what to do, then call me or email me. I need a new partner. Corey is gone, and he was pretty darn motivated... which is good for me. So I need someone who's motivated!!!!!!!!!
Ok, enough.
Ha, I fooled you. You thought I was gonna post Volume III. MUAHAHAHAH
Posted by josh at 10:24 PM | Comments (7)
August 12, 2004
What's Been Goin' On, Part II
I don't want to make things out to be all bad re: the breakup. There were some great things that came out of it. I'm a very positive person by nature, so there's no way I'm gonna go thru a major life experience and not better myself in some way.
The break up made me evaluate who I was, what I was doing, and where I was going. I questioned everything about myself: from my taste in food to my taste in women; from my goals in school to my goals in life; and from my faith in myself to my faith in God. Seriously, I literally went to the grocery store, not knowing if what I thought I liked and didn't like was really correct. I remember going down one aisle one time, seeing cottage cheese, and drawing back because I thought I didn't like it. But, in all honesty, I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten cottage cheese, and didn't know if I had just been telling myself I didn't like cottage cheese, so I never would eat it. So, I bought some cottage cheese. And you know what? I actually like cottage cheese.
I know, stupid story, right? But it's a short summary of the whole situation. Kind of like.... that movie with Julia Roberts.... Grrr.... Runaway Bride. She didn't know how she liked her eggs cooked. She had always just liked whatever everyone else had liked. And at the end of the movie, she tried all the different types of eggs to find out how she liked her eggs cooked. That's how I view the breakup. It forced me to re-evaluate myself. It made me step back, look at my life and my decisions and see if I had made the right choices for myself, or if I had been making decisions based on what I thought others wanted me to do.
One of those major decisions that came out of the whole ordeal, and which partially contributed to my depression, was whether or not to continue on to get my Ph.D. Recently, I had been getting really down on myself regarding my research... I wasn't motivated like I should have been, I wasn't producing results like I should have been; my heart just wasn't in it. I discovered that I had partially been trying to get my phd because it's what 'I was supposed' to do. It's what my parents thought I should do. Society would look more highly upon me. Mel was gonna be going to grad school here, and if I stayed for my phd, we could be together here in gville. All bad reasons to do something.
So I looked at MY heart, MY goals, MY aspirations, MY abilities, MY gifts. I knew that I didn't like being in the lab all the time. I knew that if put in a group, I almost always emerged as the leader to get things done. I knew that I much preferred delegating than doing. I knew I wanted to be in control (oh yeah, I'm a control freak). I knew that if I were in the lab all the time, I would go insane and I wouldn't be putting my full abilities to the test. I have so much potential, so much ability, so much worth, I was just wasting it going for my phd. I also knew that I was growing to hate Academia. It was getting to where I couldn't stand it anymore. I had at least 3 professors/bosses telling me what to do. Each had their own goals for me and what research they wanted to get out of me. Finally, I decided to do what I wanted to do. I decided to just get my masters in materials engineering. I'm due to graduate in May. I'm also picking up my certificate in particle science and technology. UF's PS&T is trying to get a degree program started, so they made their first step towards it with offering a certificate program. I'm also applying to get into the MBA program at UF. Unfortunately, I'm uncertain if I'll be accepted, since I don't have any work experience. I am told, however, that they sometimes take research assistantships as experience. So we will have to see how that goes.
But I am definitely graduating in May. It's actually quite scary. I've been in school since I was 5 -- that's 20 years. I've been in gville for 7 years, almost continuously, save for summber B after my freshman year when I was home and summer B '99 when I was in Rome... studying. I really won't know what to do with myself once I graduate. I've got a good connexion with Honeywell thru Julie, and they will pay for my MBA. So that's a strong possibility.
Anyhoo, I'm rambling now. I think that's enough for Part II. Stay tuned for the next installment.
Posted by josh at 11:23 PM | Comments (4)
August 11, 2004
What's Been Goin On, Part I
So the past 6 months have been very tumultuous for me; I've changed my career path, re-evaluated my Spiritual life, and had my heart ripped apart by Mel.
I'll start with the breakup, since it's probably what most everyone is curious about anyway. This was the worst breakup possible. I mean, this was the type of breakup that tears two people apart and deals irreparable damage to the relationship between them. Wow, looking back on it, I have no idea how I got through it. If I had it to do all over again, I would have cut things off the first time I learned about "the other guy." Knowing Mel as I did, I should have known better than to stick around. It would have saved me 6 weeks of hell, and probably would have prevented me from going into depression and needing Zoloft. Oh well, what can you do when you're in love? Turns out, I loved her more than she loved me, and I'll just leave it at that.
So yeah, I was pretty bad off. I was on Zoloft, for a little over 3 months. If it hadn't been for people like Julie, Corey, Joel and Katie, who knows what would have happened to me. Thanks, guys, for your support and understanding. I really really appreciated it. I would have been so much worse off without you guys. I recently cycled off the meds.... I should have cycled off for a little longer... those withdrawal symptoms were killer. I still am a little dizzy late in the day, but way better off than I was the first few days... whew, those were doozies. Terrible headaches and nausea. Oh, and the crazy moodiness and emotional sensitivity were fun, too. I mean, I was practically crying at everything from the dead possum in the road to the "Jesus in Art" special on PBS to the shear beauty of high definition tennis. It was crazy. Man, I'm glad that phase is over.
Anyway, I'm finally over the whole situation, though I will never be over Mel. That's the way love works. You never stop loving someone, no matter what they do to you or your heart. If something changes, then it wasn't truly love. With the exceptions of Honduras and the union of J&K, which pretty much required we be civil to each other, we've only spoken a handful of times. We'll never be friends again. It's sad, really. Would I take her back? Dunno. My heart would say yes, but my mind (and all my friends) would say no. It's the epic battle of heart vs. mind, of romanticism vs stoicism. Which would you choose?
That's all for now. Stay tuned for Part II of "What's Been Goin' On." I told you I was back!!!!
Posted by josh at 11:22 PM | Comments (3)
August 10, 2004
If you vote Kerry, I will kill you
Here are a few public quotes by John Kerry.
"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country." –
John Kerry
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure." – John Kerry
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is ‘to be prepared’." – John Kerry
"I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future." – John Kerry
"The future will be better tomorrow." – John Kerry
"We're going to have the best educated American people in the world." –John Kerry
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." – John Kerry
"We have a firm commitment to NATO; we are a part of NATO. We have a
firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe." – John Kerry
"Public speaking is very easy." – John Kerry
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the
polls." – John Kerry
"We are ready for any unforeseen event that may or may not occur." –
John Kerry
"Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our
children." – John Kerry
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it." – John Kerry
"It's time for the human race to enter the solar system." – John Kerry
Posted by josh at 11:29 PM | Comments (10)
August 09, 2004
I'm Baaaack!
Hidey Ho, everybody. That's right.... make sure you're sitting down and your seatbelt is buckled, because Josh is back. I'm so bored out of my mind, I decided to make my comeback into the weblogging world. I mean, with so many droll, uninteresting, uber-wordy and just plain dumb blogs out there, I figure I'm just making the internet a better place. Heck, I've practically been living in sin by not having a log. Well, I hereby confess my sin and repent!! Praise the Lord!
Posted by josh at 01:29 AM | Comments (3)